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Still Waiting to find out…

“The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why”
– Mark Twain

Innocence Lost

Death has a way of sobering you and making you grow the fuck up fast. Hold onto the innocence and stay child like!

Love like Rain

“Love, like rain, does not choose the grass on which it falls”

Make it Rain – Ed Sheeran – Sons of Anarchy

Loneliness

“At the time in my life when I was feeling the most gregarious and looking for bosom friendships, I couldn’t find any takers, so that exactly when I was alone was when I felt the most like not being alone. The moment I decided I’d rather be alone and not have anyone telling me their problems, everybody I’d never even seen before in my life started running after me to tell me things I’d just decided I didn’t think it was a good idea to hear about. As soon as I became a loner in my own mind, that’s when I got what you might call a ‘following’.”

“As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it. I’ve found that to be absolutely axiomatic” – Andy Warhol

Excerpt from The Philosophy of Andy Warhol – an examination of things important to him—love, beauty, art, fame, and business

Go it alone

The darkness is my friend. I’mma Go it Alone.

We are not our own

For I fill my belly with prayer,
And my heart with song,
Our souls are not our own,
We were never alone,
This I shall always remember,
To whom I really belong.

Ode

For Dad: Eulogy

Thank you all for being here today and sharing Dad’s 1 year memorial with us.

Last year, I did not have the strength to say a few words at Dad’s funeral but my brother-in-law Matt so courageously pillared that moment for our family. This is Dad’s official Eulogy. I apologize ahead for its lengthyness here but we’ve had a year to put our thoughts together about our life and time with him.

Ritu & Matt, opened up their home and lives for all of us during Dad’s treatment and continue to do so during some of the most difficult and trying times any family could go through. At that fragile time and throughout this past year, my mother, sister and I have had to make some very difficult decisions and arrangements that we could not have done without the help and support of a lot of you here and our loved ones near and far. As is the case with funerals and sudden demises, we had to endure a lot of trials as a family, that looking back now seems like a miracle that we even survived it all. We knew our family was different from the beginning and our global, cross border ties and roots from India to Dubai to Canada and back to the US made things all the more harder. If it wasn’t for the courage, strength of character, deep faith, dedication and fortitude of my mother and sister, who supported her through it all, we would still be adrift in the affairs of the passing of a loved one. I want to take this moment to say, that Matt & I are truly lucky to have some of the most strongest and loving women in our life as nurturers and caregivers for our families. I know personally that, that was something Dad was immensely proud of. The way my mom and sis looked after Dad through the cancer treatment so dedicatedly was something to behold.

Sept. 5th 2013, marked one year since we lost Dad so tragically, shockingly and suddenly between his battle against cancer and his final surgery. It will always feel just like yesterday for us but time does heal all; although we so badly long to see him and hold him again. The pain never really goes away and all we have is our memories and gratitude for the time we had with him.

We happened to also share that very same day in a bitter sweet surreality with my sisters birthday. That fateful morning, we celebrated her birthday as a mark of something auspicious and then that very evening the unthinkable and unimaginable happened. So today, despite this time of mourning and quiet suffering, I want you all to celebrate my fathers life with my sisters and remember him the way we so fondly do going forward. He gave us life, hope, support, love and amazing opportunities. Dad was an intelligent soul and a quiet man in his successes, pain and trials. He knew how to give and receive which is especially hard to accomplish in this life. He was distinctively kind, had an ocean of patience and was a mentor to many. I am who I am today because of my parents and my father was my best friend, my mentor and my guardian.

Ravi Cherian, Dad or Popsi-dude as I so fondly used to call him was good humored, always well dressed, never spoke ill of anyone and most incredibly self-taught. Family always came first for Dad, inspite of his many personal and professional accomplishments. He was the most proud the day he became a grandfather and held Leah and then again when Enya was born. He got to re-live those moments of being a parent and together with my mom he so thoroughly enjoyed watching them grow and being part of their lives. They were his pride and joy, especially during his last months and days. He simply loved having his entire family under one roof for a small life time, it seemed.

Dad loved movies, music, science and technology and like all guys – his electronics. He was our very own McGyver (we loved that show). He was always tinkering with his gadgets and fixing things around the house.

From all our happy childhood memories into adolescents and adulthood, Dad & Mom were always constants in our lives. I remember Dad teaching me to drive and then turning around and escaping with his car, the Thur night hindi movies we watched as a family and Ritu & I attacking his after work snacks that he would so fondly prepare for himself to all the other tumultuous adventures the Cherians have had from Dubai to India and North America that I could go on forever about, but we always did it all as a team. And now we are one less and we feel it every hour of every day.

He was a pillar of strength and the head of our happy little unit. Loosing him sent us into a flurry of confused emotions and life had become a roller coaster ride but I am happy to report, that it has only made our faith stronger and brought us closer as a family. We are constantly tested during our individual walks of life but Dad and Mom taught us to share, love and help others through their own actions. We know that God has carried us through all these years and that we are blessed everyday.

Dad was our compass and our anchor and made us feel nestled and protected. He took everything in his stride, had such a positive outlook on life and a gentleness and confidence about him that was inspiring. We still feel like a ship lost at sea without its captain but we learnt from the best and to quote one of Dad’s best friends WolfGang Ludwig from Germany “God has equipped all of us deep inside with a very good seismograph always indicating and guiding us the right way”. Dad touched many lives around the world while seeing his goals to fruition but he so desired to live and work in North America with his children and we envisioned starting and running a business together as Father & Son whereby he could enjoy his retirement with mom while travelling the world some more, but now that remains unfulfilled. Our family now, will live out those dreams for him.

Through this past year we have grown steadfast in our faith, adapted to change and most of all we strive to live life like Dad – with honour, grace and integrity. Loosing Dad has made us learn to slow down, not force anything in this life and most of all taught us to take the time for the things that matter the most. None of which we would have learnt, if it wasn’t for him. My dad is still schooling me in death as he did in life.

He is resting in a better place now and will be forever remembered and missed for his presence, his beautiful smile and the love and devotion he gave everyone. Ritu often says that one phrase comes to mind when we think of Dad “Still Waters, Run Deep” – Dad was a private person and quietly philosophical. Finally, I would like to end with a small reading from something he wrote that I found in his office in Dubai when clearing the space.

It’s called — Doctrine of Love —

The Doctrine of Love & Compassion is a must for every ruler and person of authority and should take more significance in this modern age.

Where the economics of the world rules supreme, COMPASSION is forgotten; Where Authoritarianism & Hierarchy take precedence, LOVE is neglected.

Think about it. Isn’t Love the very essence from which you are born? Isn’t it the nectar with which your mother nurtured you?

If you strike a balance between whatever you do and these principles, you will not regret your existence in this mortal world. What you achieve is what you give — be it Love, Compassion, Confidence or Truth; the bare facts will always hold true in every society and True Love will rule all.

Awake when I Die

As I stir in solitude,
I reconnect with my faith and soul.
I face my fears and it takes flight,
My freedom comes to light.
When I sit still,
The memories come rushing back,
When I sit in silence,
The pain reminds me back,
When I am tired and lonely,
The emotions tell me I am alive,
There is no rest for the weary,
So I won’t sleep when I am dead,
But I shall awaken, finally when I Die.

– Missing you everyday pops. Thank you for this gift & memories.

On Obedience

Instant obedience is the only kind of obedience there is, for delayed obedience is disobedience.

Ours not to make reply,
Ours not to reason why,
Ours but to do and die.

Obedience is the fruit of faith; patience is the early blossom on the tree of faith. – Christina Rossetti

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